lost faith

I used to think that humans were generally good beings who had the possibility to selflessly care for others. The last 12 days have not only made my life a living hell, they have totally and completely made me lose faith in humanity and the ability for people to do good.

It all started when I woke up to my roommate screaming bloody murder the Tuesday before last at about 3 am. There was a man in our apartment, who intentionally jumped over the banister on our balcony to break into our back door and enter her room to watch her sleep. Needless to say, going into public or interacting with people has been near-impossible; every person I am near I feel like they can see right through me. I have no privacy or personal space anymore. I can't believe how violated I feel. I don't necessarily mind being at home alone, but I very easily freak myself out and can't stand being alone at night, I discovered yesterday. I went home to Stafford last weekend with my roommate to calm down and spend some money and hug my mommy. I felt a lot better this week until.

My roommate (the same one who got creeped on) and another roommate had their cars keyed. Wouldn't be a big deal to me, we kind of shrugged it off at first then.

Last night, our patio set was stolen. Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with people. Why are people that cruel? Also last night someone threw a cup full of beer on my car while I was driving. It's just like what the hell. Everything seems so isolated but why is this all happening in a matter of 2 weeks? I'm not paying $450 to live in fear. And that's what I'm doing right now. I don't feel safe anymore. I feel victimized and harassed. I feel like I can't trust any one. Why us? Constantly, why this apartment? What have I done to deserve this? We have no security in our apartment complex and I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of all of this. Sexual harassment, trespass, vandalism, breaking and entering, and theft. In two week's time. I'm done with this town and I'm done with people.